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At The Heart of it All
Love your heart, love yourself
They say “Life can change in an instant”.
They say “No one is guaranteed another
day here on earth” or “Live life to its fullest”.
We all listen and nod and think it won't
happen to me or my friends. I know that's
what my attitude was until July 25th 2010.
That day our phone rang and the call
changed the way I think about everything.
The voice was that of a friend and he was calling to tell us that my husband’s thirty-eight year old best friend, Jeff had died suddenly of a massive heart attack. Jeff, or Jeffie as he was known to many of his friends, was the best man in our wedding. He was the type of guy who always had a funny story and a smile that would light up a room. My husband referred to him as his “brother from another mother”. Jeffie lived in Harford Co until 2007 and was proud to say that he helped to build Annie's playground. He was always active in the community because his girls go to school there and he felt it was important.
How could it be that Jeffie was gone, just like that? I felt like my head was spinning with questions? I simply could not imagine how his immediate family was feeling. Over time, we would learn that a few weeks prior to his heart attack, Jeff had mild chest pain he dismissed as simple heartburn. I don't know for sure, but I can guess the thought “I am too young for a heart attack” may have kept him from checking into it more.
Often, when there is a tragic loss, we want to be sure the death of our loved one was not in vain, we hope that at least a lesson can from the event. So, my way of reconciling that is to do my best to keep a good check on my health.
I scheduled check-ups for my husband and me immediately. We both had heart scans and I had a stress test due to family history of early heart attacks. I also researched and learned the symptoms for both a heart attack and a stroke which can differ for women and men. A great source for this list is www.heart.org, the website for The American heart Association.
Knowing these symptoms is a great start to your heart health education, but there are many other important steps to think about. Have you reviewed your life insurance policy recently? How about your will? Do you have a living will? And although it can be uncomfortable, have you discussed your preferences upon your death? These are conversations my husband and I had not yet touched on in our fairly young marriage. They were ones I didn't want to have but, since our friend's passing, knew were important.
As fate would have it, Jeffie died shortly before the annual “50/50” golf trip with his group of friends. The annual trip was aptly named for their plan to golf in 50 states in 50 years. The boys knew they still had to take the trip, even though it would be hard without their friend. Many things were done on that trip to honor his memory as well as the presence of a small miracle – the group’s very first hole-in-one. I'd like to think Jeffie had a hand in helping with that shot. The guys opted to turn the annual event into a fundraiser for Jeff's family and to use it as an opportunity to always remember the good times they spent with their friend.
In the almost two years that have passed, I have also tried to help raise funds for The American Heart Association through both The Neighbor Campaign and soliciting donations when my son participated in the jump-a-thon at school.
At this time of year, when we most associate hearts with love and romance it is important to remember to take care of your real, living, beating heart. Go get a check up. Get an accurate family history from your relatives, Eat healthy, exercise and make sure your have those talks I mentioned...oh, and a little love never hurt anyone either.
------Michele Wieland
